Return of the Professional 40k Gamer!

Hey folks!

Having been catapulted back into the #1 ranked position, I wanted to take this opportunity to shamelessly soapbox the rigorous daily routines that all the elite gamers engage in. In my last article and routine outline, I talked about unit flash cards, drills, META-honing, internet searches, multi-table simultaneous gaming…

In this article, I wanted to explain the true secret behind a successful gamer: I call it the “Futuristic Action Gaming Simulation.” The key to success with any unit on the tabletop is to truly understand what it is like to BE that unit. How can you truly understand the potency of a Space Marine if you’ve never stood in the shoes of a genetically engineered super-human with massive weaponry? How can you truly understand the terror that a Dark Eldar wych can inspire if you’ve never stripped almost naked and tortured someone to death? Or of a chaos marine if you’ve never mutilated yourself and engaged in every excess imaginable?

While these are truly inspirational and devout pursuits, the pursuit of them isn’t particularly viable in some countries (unless you’re fabulously wealthy and have the appropriate underground research labs, torture chambers, and plastic surgeons). Thus the Futuristic Action Gaming Simulation comes into play.

The Futuristic Action Gaming Simulation is not to be confused with Live Action Role Playing – everyone knows that LARPing is for the truly obsessed nerds, and has no end but in itself. The Futuristic Action Gaming Simulation on the other hand, is where you bring your army list to life – soliciting the help of many friends with paintball guns to simulate actual 40k battlefield conditions. Different colored paintballs denote the AP value of each shot, with armor saves denoted by the number of hits someone can take before being removed from combat. A bit of sheet metal or aluminum roofing loosely assembled serves for tanks, with a couple friends moving it from the inside using larger caliber paintballs under heavier compression for range.

And that, my friends, is the secret behind joining the cadre of the elite. Stepping into the shoes of each of your soldiers to gain an understanding of the role they have on the field. BEING one with each of your models. Knowing that every time you move, shoot and assault with a unit on the table…you’ve physically been in their shoes, and are using them optimally.

So go forth! Learn to soldier in your own army, that you might general it even better. Unless of course you’re a sadistic and fabulously wealthy 40k enthusiast, in which case you have an even better means of becoming one with your codex.